Apparently, making fun of black fat women is wrong. Making fun of fat white guys is right."
Die Bloodhound Gang ist wieder mit einem neuen schockierenden Album unterwegs durch die Lande. „Hefty Fine“ heißt das gute Stück, auf dessen Cover ein etwas korpulenterer nackter Mann in einer Art Schachtel abgebildet ist. Wie immer sehr ästhetisch, die Jungs! Es erinnert an die Homepage, wo ziemlich kranke Menschen kleine Kätzchen in Gläser stecken und dann verkaufen. Nichtsdestotrotz hatten wir das Vergnügen Evil Jared Hasselhoff, den sehr großen und durchtrainierten (davon konnten wir uns alle im Privatfernsehen überzeugen) Bassisten der Bloodhound Gang für euch zu interviewen. Lest selbst!
PS: Nicht aus Faulheit wurde das Interview von uns nicht übersetzt, sondern wegen des großen Verlusts an Authentizität bei Übersetzungen. Zum Zweiten sollen auch diejenigen, die der deutschen Sprache nicht mächtig sind, herausfinden dürfen, wer Natasha Thorp ist.Did you choose the NATO Phonetic Alphabet for the first single „Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo“ to avoid censorship?
We thought we’d be able to slip it on to the radio. I don’t know if you can say the word “fuck” in Austria or Germany, but in America, you can’t say “fuck” on the radio at all! They played it like one or two times before they realized… you assholes! We’re not playing your song on the radio!What’s the metaphorical meaning of the album-title “Hefty Fine”?
“Hefty Fine” would mean, that you have to pay a lot of money, which we did for all the losses we had from last time we toured. So we called it that. And also “Hefty Fine” means like a fat person that’s fine. Like a plus-size model. Originally we had a big fat black lady on the cover, but the record company was like: “No, you can’t put that. You can’t make fun of fat black women.” Apparently, making fun of black fat women is wrong. Making fun of fat white guys is right. So we had to get rid of that chick. And we had the whole photo shoot done and the whole cover-art was already done. But they were like: “No, you go find some fat guy!”Do you think that your song “Pennsylvania” will have a chance to become the anthem for Pennsylvania?
No, not a fucking clue. There are all kinds of safeguards built into the American government that keeps assholes like us away from doing stuff like that.In the diary-section of your homepage you tell us that festival-shows suck, except those in Europe. How come?
Because in America they don’t know how to run festivals. Over here there are festivals all summer long, there is enough security, everything is under control and kids don’t act like complete assholes. In America there is one festival every five or six years, like the Woodstocks and shit like that. And so the kids just go crazy and insane, start beating each other up and burning shit down. Which doesn’t surprise me either because… over here, you can get water or beer at a reasonable price at a festival. Over there… a bottle of water… ten dollars. A beer… eight dollars. If I was in the crowd, I’ll be pissed off two. If I had to spend eight dollars on a beer, I would wanna have eight dollars worth of alcoholic enjoyment. So I would get drunk on that and then burn down everything on my way too.How often did you get in trouble with feminists so far because of your provocative lyrics?
We’ve been in trouble with anti-Asian groups for liking Asians; we’ve been in trouble with pro-Asian groups for liking Asians. And we’ve been in trouble with anti-gay groups for being too gay and with pro-gay groups for not being gay enough. But so far there was nothing wrong with the feminists. Which is good, because – you know – we love the ladies!Natasha Thorp is part of your song “Uhn Tiss Uhn Tiss Uhn Tiss”. Who is she?
Natasha Thorp is a chick we know from Salt Lake City, Utah. And apparently, she’s a phone sex operator. You may not know this… Salt Lake City is the world’s blow-job capital. Are you familiar with the Mormons? They don’t believe in premarital sex. Although they believe in polygamy. You can be married as many times as you want. But before you get married, you can’t have sex because it’s a sin and you go to hell and stuff. But oral sex… not considered sex. So you go down there and there are all these horned up Mormon girls, more than willing to put some dirty band-member’s penises in their mouth. I think having deepthroated so many band-guys gives Natasha that nice sexy voice. That’s why she is on the record.Bam Margera is part of the video for “Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo”. He’s in a banana car; hot oily chicks around. The interesting thing is that you (the band) are in the tunnel. I guess it was nice there. How many bugs did you have to pay Bam for acting as protagonist in the clip?
Zero! Zero dollars! We’ve been on that asshole-show so many times and he’s never once paid us. And he’s gone so far as get us arrested and not even offer to pay our bail or anything. So this retard would better be in our video for free!Ville Valo is part of your album, singing some parts of “Something Diabolical”. Why did you seek or choose this cooperation?
Well, he’s a nice guy. We like to drink together. But what a lot of Europeans don’t know is that he just uses that “Oh yes, I’m so cool, and so Finnish and so European…” he uses that just to get chicks. He’s not even from Finland. You know where he’s from? New Jersey. And his real name is Bill. Bill Valo! That’s not a rockstar`s name. That’s a name of some guy that takes your money when you get onto the highway. I got a message for you Ville: This is Evil Jared. And don’t tell people your name is Ville, when it’s Bill!Why do you hate Alanis Morrissette?
We don’t hate her! She doesn’t like us for some reason. Remember a couple of years ago, I think it was 2003. We presented her with an award. We went up to her: “Alanis, here is your award! All these German people love you! You sold billions of albums! It should be the happiest day of your life! So why the long face?” Alanis didn’t think that was so “lustig”Jared, thanks a lot for the interview… and for not getting naked!